Thursday, January 5, 2012

Escape Chapter 1

Hey! Okay I thought about the comments I got on my first 2 chapters of my book and I rewrote the first chapter and I like it so much better! So thank you guys so much for your help! Okay here is the new chapter one! Enjoy!

Chapter 1:

I woke up with a start my head and heart pounding, my lungs screaming for air, It was just a dream I kept telling myself. It was just a dream. A dream I have had for the last 6 nights in a row, but still a dream. I just had to keep telling myself this if I was going to ever be able to sleep again.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and ran to my desk. I unlocked the music box I had gotten from my mom (of coarse that was before she decided to leave me and my dad all by ourselves, when I was just a baby) and pulled out my journal. I felt the soft velvet cover and the worn out edges from years of use. This was my favorite journal, my dream journal.

I wrote down every detail of the dream I could remember. Of coarse it was the same as it was every night, I was at my school, there was a huge explosion, but for some reason I was walking toward the explosion instead of away from it. Carrie was behind my screaming my name. Then we both ran into the cafeteria and saw this monster thing. Then the dream ended, just like that every night, every detail the same. “Ergg!” I screamed. “What’s wrong with me!” I looked up to the mirror on my desk. “Okay Sam.” I told myself. “Pull yourself together.” I took a deep breath and got up to get ready for school.

I walked over slowly to my closet, opened the door, and grabbed whatever I could find. Which of coarse was a pair of skinny jeans, a t-shirt (blue of coarse), my converse, and my favorite sweatshirt, the yellow one with the blue hood. Then I put on the locket Carrie had gotten me last Christmas. It was a little silver heart that opened and inside Carrie had put my favorite picture of the two of us. The one of us at summer camp when we were 8, we were both wearing matching outfits like we had done everyday that summer. I smiled, grabbed my bag, my favorite book, and my journal, and slid down the stair well banister.

“Hey Dad, Bye Dad.” I said grabbing an apple and heading out the door. “Sam!” he said. I stopped in place and sighed “Yes Dad?” “Try and learn something today sweet.” he said kissing me on the forehead. “Come on Dad, do you want me to be late….again?” “No go on.” he said pushing me towards the door.

I grabbed the rusty handle bars of my bike. “God I need a new bike…badly.” “SAM!” Carrie screamed. Mumbling I said “Oh Hi Carrie.” “Sam what’s wrong now?” “Nothing Carrie I’m fine.” “No I know your not, were best friends remember. You can’t hide anything from me, okay? Now tell me what’s wrong you’ve been like this all week. All sad and depressed.” “Seriously Carrie, I’m fine.” “Whatever you say.” she said rolling her eyes. “Now come on I can’t be late again or Mrs. Black will have my head.”

We arrived at school as soon as the final bell rang. “Crap.” I mumbled under my breath. “Bye Carrie.” I said running quickly to my locker. “Come on, come on, come on. Open up you stupid worthless piece of crap. Oh come on why do I always get the worst locker in the whole school?!?”
“Sam it’s looks like you late again.” “Mrs. Black it’s not my fault this time! It’s these cheap school lockers they NEVER open.” “Sam if you insist on missing class, maybe you should can stay after school for detention.”

8 comments:

  1. Yeah, it's better now :) You're doing really well!

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  2. haha im saying this cuz im like ocd.. haha nah but really its COURSE. lol

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  3. @Lily Oh sorry Lily, my friend Rihaana is the same way! I"m also really bad at spelling...thank god for spell check.

    @Jenni Thank you so much that means so much coming from you!:D

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  4. hey caroline!! oh my god...this is really really good :D i havent read the first one (*squirms*) but im loving this!! keep going with it (: <3

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  5. ohh thanks so much rose I really liked the story you wrote on you blog too! Oh yea my first one isn't that good....

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  6. hey caroline, just a quickie to say THANKYOU for the comment on the latest part of my story (just incase you dont see my reply to it) and also, i bet your first ones WERE good, just not as good as this one :) x

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  7. Just a quick word of advice! One paragraph should have the dialogue of one character. So, if another character is saying something else, then start a new paragraph.
    Sorry if that was a little rude... It probably didn't make sense either...
    Anyway, the plot is good so far! :D
    -Nikki :)

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  8. Thanks Nikki I just fixed it and if you go to my Escape page ^^^ above you can see it.

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